Tuesday, January 27, 2009

No Longer Just a Month in Mommy's Calendar

This week, at my kid's school, a few of the parents have been in to talk about their jobs to the kids.

No one invited me. Apparently, "sits around in pajamas and watches YouTube" isn't a viable profession. Talk to the hand, sir, the paycheck speaks for itself.

But I digress.

The kids were visited by a dental hygienist, and a policeman, and when I dropped my daughter off today, there was a fireman sitting on the floor with 50 tiny people staring at him.

I stood next to one of the other moms, who explained that the fireman was "Uncle Tim", and that the police officer earlier in the week was her husband. (Talk about public safety at holiday get-togethers!) She mentioned something that was so interesting - which I had never thought about before, but that I thought was so valuable.

The reason Uncle Tim wanted to talk to the kids, she explained, was because he wanted them to see what he looked like under his uniform.

"Don't we all," I thought to myself, but quickly steered myself back to the conversation at hand.

As we spoke, Uncle Tim, who had started out in a teeshirt and pants, pulled on his jacket, and showed the kids how it protected him from fire, and then his hood. His hood covered his head and neck with a small opening for his face, and the kids laughed as he pulled it on. To encourage the idea that he looked silly, Uncle Tim stuck out his arms and waggled his fingers as the kids watched intently and giggled. He pulled on his helmet, and still smiling, pulled down the face mask and quickly pulled it up again. He waved at the kids with both hands, and they clapped and laughed.

The other mom explained that Tim tried reaching out to school groups because the one time children might see a firefighter up close is in the middle of a fire. In full panic, kids come face to face with giant creatures in heavy, large outfits with reflective tape, breathing like Darth Vader with helmets that cover their faces and their arms outstretched, and the children run in the other direction. A firefighter in person is much larger and more frightening than a small, happy cartoon. That realization absolutely took my breath away.

Talk to your kids' school or local fire department and see if you can arrange a similar visit - it could make all the difference.

Thanks, Uncle Tim!

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Top 10 Reasons Why Today was the Most Amazing Day, Ever:

10. I wasn’t freezing my ass off in DC today

9. George and Laura got into a helicopter and went to go live in a FEMA trailer for a year, even if only in my mind.




8. Charlie Brotman almost started off the inaugural introductions with “LAADIES AND GENTLEMEN… CHILDREN OF AAALL AGES…” was it just me, or did you feel like you were at a tractor pull for a minute, there?

7. Aretha’s hat. You work it, Miss Franklin.

6. “…we ask you to help us work for that day when black will not be asked to get in back, when brown can stick around, when yellow will be mellow, when the red man can get ahead, man; and when white will embrace what is right

Amen.


5. Maila Obama brought a camera and was taking photos. I LOVE that!


4. The large amount of shoes that were taken off feet today and shaken at news cameras.

Suck it, George.









3. Bill Clinton, looking delicious as ever. I LOVE YOU, BILL!!








2. Lest I forget, we have a black president.



And my number one reason why today was the best day, ever, is:


1. Dick on wheels.

I was perched three inches from my TV screen, screaming, “PUSH IT DOWN THE STAIRS! JUST PUSH THAT WHEELCHAIR DOWN THE STAIRS!!!!”




I really need to change the ringer on my phone to better reflect my celebratory mood.


Friday, January 16, 2009

But it's medicinal!

A container of Fleur de Sel caramel ice cream in your shopping cart at the check out line is as subtle as a box of tampons, or a tee shirt with "I HAVE PMS" in blinking LED lights emblazoned across the front.

It's chocolate and sugar covered in salt, and folded into ice cream.

Don't even try and tell me a woman didn't invent that.

DON'T EVEN TRY! I'LL SMASH YOUR SKULL!

(bursts into tears).

Sorry. I'm a little moody.

:)

Friday, January 9, 2009

Hey, neighbor!

Every once in a while, a noise emanates from my neighbor's apartment that I, through my finely-tuned detective skills, have identified as an Australian aboriginal bullroarer. See video below. It's like that, but about 20 times louder.

Either that, or they're trying to start a propeller plane in their living room.

I wish I had a digeridoo. We could jam.

Now I just feel compelled to find some weird noise so I could compete with them.



Monday, January 5, 2009

LAND!

Today, after three weeks of my child being home with me due to travel and the holidays, I dropped the kid off at daycare.

I hugged her teacher like she was land after 90 days at sea, and ran out of the building screaming.

I am so not made for this stay-at-home-mom shit.