I'm not single, and I'm not your mother.

In some ways, I embrace the term "single mom". It's incredibly difficult to be a single mom, and simultaneously so incredibly rewarding, based on the level of difficulty alone. I love the bond between my child and myself, and the fact that our time alone together has given us a rock-solid foundation of trust and closeness.

While being a single mom has its drawbacks, it also has its freedoms, like spontaneous road trips, a clean house, no one else's underpants to launder, and full control of the remote. If I want to turn up the radio and dance on the coffee table to Thelma Houston like the gay man I am, there's no one there to stare at me disapprovingly. Except the neighbors. Close your curtains, y'all, 'cause this show goes on all day.

The characteristic of the term "single mom" that I do not like is one of perceived limitation.

“Oh, that’s Jane; she’s a single mom…” I’m picturing her unpacking groceries, checking homework, balancing a checkbook, and never having enough hours in the day or enough patience to get through it all.

Additionally, "single mom" does not encompass all that I am. I'm a writer. I like taking photographs. I am passionate, about many things. I love to cook wild new dishes and invite friends over. While I yearn for a sense of community, I love to experience new places alone. I love giant forests and vast national parks and places that are quiet enough to hear wind through branches. I love old houses. I love to drive incredibly fast. I have an overwhelming sense of social responsibility. I like to dance in places that are so crowded that you become completely anonymous. I love museums, and my favorite examples of classical music are usually cello or violin pieces. I love flowers. I feel that to label myself a "single mom" negates the infinite possible reactions to our environment that could distinctively describe me, and instead tags me primarily as one despondent and in need.

Is "single mom" a badge of honor, or a pigeonholed assignation with negative undertones?

Although single moms are some of the strongest women I know, I feel that when you refer to someone as “a single mom”, you’re consequently alluding to a perceived adversity, which detracts from the woman as a unique and empowered individual.

The term “single mom” is a constant reminder to me that I can either allow my situation to drag me down, or give me strength as I fight to distance myself from a label with which I want no association. There has to be a better term for women capable of getting so much accomplished, and still raising a happy, well-balanced and much-loved child. "Single mom" just isn't doing it for me anymore.